


If I answer your call

by loley24



Category: greek gods - Fandom
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 20:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19342234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loley24/pseuds/loley24
Summary: Hades, God of the Underworld, only helps those who will help themselves.This is about mental health. Something I wrote when I was dealing with depression and anxiety.No suicidal attempt or self harm.





	If I answer your call

She kept driving, she was supposed to go home instead she kept driving. She couldn’t let her family to see her like this, wild emotions and drowned screams. She couldn’t explain why she felt like this, what triggered it. She was lucky to be able to hold it until work was over, now she just couldn’t anymore. She remembered a place where one of her friends went to be alone; a clearing near the airport. When she was like this, she felt that she was an ongoing danger behind the wheel and to go to the airport you had to take the highway; regardless, she set her course before she had more time to think about it. She needed to go somewhere safe, right now home was not safe. It didn’t take her long to find the place. It was not beautiful, it was the beginning of autumn and the grass was rugged and brown, it made a crunching sound where she stepped. Trash could be found around, beer cans, cigarettes, wrappers, she wouldn’t be surprised if she found needles or used condoms. It did offer a lot of cover though, the trees that surrounded the place were tall, some of them looked grim without their foliage; still it was quiet and lonely. It may not have been wise to do it, but she went deeper into the forest. At the moment, being still was impossible to her, the electric feel that was going through her body was too overwhelming, breathing wouldn’t help she knew and sitting down or lying down would only make her feel worst.

As she walked she let the air fill her lungs, the further she went the air got fresher and it carried the characteristic smell of wet ground, it was chilly too but she didn’t mind, it soothed her. The feeling was gone once her legs couldn’t go any longer; a sadness so vast and deep took over her when she stopped moving. A torrent of tears came down her face and she dropped to the ground. It had been a long time since she had let herself cried like this: letting her tears to fall freely and sobbing so hard, the way little kids sob when they truly feel anguish. Tears were good, tears were therapeutic, but it was not enough. _Please_ , she thought, _Please somebody help me, anyone. If you can hear me, please, tell me what to do, tell me where to go, I cannot go like this anymore… Lord of shadows, someone, help me"_.

For a moment she went numb, her crying subsided and her mind was silent. It was so sudden and so absorbing, the emptiness, that she was startled when she came back to herself. She realized that she had gone too far from where she was, the deep side of the forest, where no one used to go, where it might be too dangerous to go, especially alone. She should be afraid, she should go back immediately, but she wasn’t afraid and she didn’t want to leave; this part of the forest was not like the clearing at all. The grass was emerald green and fresh, there was no naked tree, some of the sky was visible through the cracks, it was past dusk and it made the place look blue without the moonlight. Blue, green and brown, those were the colors surrounding her. Except for the sound of the airplanes the clearing was quiet, but this, this was something else; not a sound could be heard; an owl could be heard but even its howl was strange. She touched the grass and found it wet with dew, she saw something a few steps before her and she crawled to see what it was. Flowers. Some of them had six petals and a yellow center with an orange edge and others had also six petals but with a burgundy or violet line in their middle and filaments with a brown tip. I know this flowers. This were not common flowers of the area, she was sure of that. Then she remembered. She had read about them, seen them in pictures for she had never seen them in real life. One of the flowers was what it came after a young, arrogant, beautiful young man was cursed by a goddess to fall in love with his own reflection. Narcissus. And the other ones could be found in a place where ordinary people was sent to spend the eternity after they died. Asphodel.

The shadow of a man appeared obscuring the flowers. She turned around but there was no one behind her.

 _“If I answer your call, do you think you’ll be able to hear me?”_ Said a deep male voice. She looked back to the flowers and the shadow was still there. She had asked for an answer but she realized know that she didn’t expect one. She was terrified now, she asked someone for help and someone had come, but who? Despite of her fear she found herself saying:

 _“I will, I promise”_  .The shadow lifted from the earth making her crawl backwards. When it touched the ground slowly a man started to materialize. Young, no more than thirty, tall, pale as a phantom, golden eyes, lean but strong, no beard. He was holding a black scepter that had two silver horns at the top, he was wearing black trousers, a long sleeve purple shirt with silver and gold embroidery, a black wool cape falling to his ankles, black boots that where so polished that they look like they were made of obsidian, and a simple silver circlet decorated with sapphires was his crown. The only thing that surprised her about his image was his hair, it was silver not black, short and spiky. Nevertheless she knew who she was beholding: Hades, Lord of the Underworld.

Mesmerized, she sat on her knees in a sign of submission and respect. She looked up.

_“But, how can you? When your heart is so closed.”_

When she had answered him she did it with steadiness in her voice, but she didn’t really feel it and there was no way she could hide her heart from him. She was looking at his face and it was hard to read, suddenly she felt that it was improper to look at him so openly.

 _“I will open it”._ She said looking to the ground.

 _“Look at me and rise”._ He said, gently.

_“Haven’t you tried before?”_

_“This_ _time will be different. I will try harder”._

Tears were coming back and her voice had gone high pitch with desperation.

 _“You still haven’t figured it out, have you?”_ He looked at her like she was a toddler instead of an adult woman.

_“I don’t know what you mean”._

_“Oh my poor child. It is not about just trying, it is about flowing, to let go, to feel freely and with pride. You’ve been so focused on_ _surviving, on pretending and hiding that you have forgotten what is like to be. You’re always on edge, with your guard up, shutting everybody away, you didn’t even realized that you did it with you as well”._

She knew what he was talking about. She was the kind of person that wore her heart on her sleeve and she did everything she could to protect it, and as a result she was now suspicious, afraid and extremely cautious.

_“I… I didn’t know what else to do”._

_“I know you don’t see it like this, but you did the best you could. Now it is time to be brave and do what you must”._

_“What should I do?”_

_“I will help you but that doesn’t mean I will give you all the answers, especially when you already know some of them. I know this seems rough, but tell me, if I give you everything that you ask, just like that, what will you actually learn? How will you know what you are capable of? How far can you go? Like I said, I will help you, I will guide you but you will have to work with me”._

_“I understand. But I fear I am not strong enough”._ Her body was tense and she was fisting her hands so tight that her knuckles were white and her nails were digging in her palms. She was trying not to cry in front of him. Her mind was in overdrive; guilt, shame, anger, sadness, hopelessness were gathering around at the same moment and she couldn’t scape them. A heavy weight had settle upon her chest making it hard to breathe _._

 _“This affliction won’t let me”._ She managed to say.

He took a step closer and put his hand on her shoulder. Being touch by a god was a surreal experience; she could feel his temperature trough her clothes; he was cold, but it was not the kind of cold that made you flinch, it was the kind that made your body feel alive and awake. It was said that mortals couldn’t see gods in their real form, if they did they were consumed by their glory immediately, like Semele, Dionysius mortal mother who asked Zeus to show her his true form; Zeus unable to deny her request obliged her and she was killed by his divine splendor. Whether this was Hades true form or not she could not say, but there was no denying that this was a touch of a superior being.

_“Let me ask you something. If I tell you that I could take it away, your affliction, what you think holds you down, but in return you will lose a part of who you are, a part so fundamental of your essence that without it you will not be the same and certainly not the person you are meant to be. I am not saying that pain makes someone especial, original or important; everybody goes through it, it is part of life. But when you know how to deal with it, how to move on and learn from it, make peace with it, pain makes you stronger, wiser and kinder. I don’t need to tell you this, you have known it for a long time: Nothing that is of actual worth comes out easily”._

For a long time she had wondered what kind of person she would be if this affliction wasn’t a part of her persona. She hated it, but it was true that it had also given her some things in return; it gave her empathy, one of her virtues was to be able to see things from other people perspective. Kindness, for it was not hard to her to let others find solace in her. Her depression sometimes had a mind of its own and it could be suffocating; but every time it threatened to swallow her whole she tamed it and to be able to master something so dark and insidious was not an easy task. So she noded at him.

 _“I want you to say it”_  .

 _“It is time for me to accept who I am. With all the good and the bad. And it is also time to forgive myself”_  .

He nodded and smiled, satisfied. _“Good. Give me your hand”._

He extended his right hand and she couldn’t help to marvel at it, it looked like a writer’s hand, smooth, with long elegant fingers, no veins could be seen underneath his ivory skin and his palm held no lines. She reached out and as soon as her hand touched his she breathed in and tears came down of her eyes. The oppressing feeling on her chest was gone, she felt serene, clear, and her mind and soul were in sync for once.

 _“Soon you will be starting a new journey and for that you need composure”_  .He prophesized, while still holding her hand.

 _“I see”_. She said in bewilderment.

 _“Don’t be afraid. You have everything that is needed to conquer this world and I will be guiding you no matter what”_. He lifted his scepter and pounded the ground twice, emitting an echo so profound that even the trees swayed. Beside him a black puppy appeared.

 _“Name her as you wish, she will be your companion and support, nurture her and she will give you love in return. Every time that you stray out of your way she will lead you back, you must trust her”_. She picked the puppy and it licked her hand. She looked like a Labrador and her eyes were yellow, similar like his. She laughed, a metaphor had just come to life.

_“So now my thoughts will be the dark dog that companies me instead of the black cloud upon my head”._

_“Exactly. It won’t be easy, sometimes you will want to give up. But no matter what keep going. When it is time for you to be taken to the Underworld I want to send you to Elysium not the Asphodel meadows”._

He lifted his scepter and put the sharp horns on her forehead.

_“I bless you my child, for now on you are under the protection of Hades, Lord of the Underworld, the dead and wealth. I will look after you and those you hold dear, I will protect your household and secure your prosperity, the only thing I ask in return is your loyalty and your cooperation. Do you accept?”_

_“I do”._ Never in her life had she felt so certain. He removed the scepter and nodded.

_“It is done then, farewell”._

_“Wait my Lord. I thank you with all my heart, you can’t imagine how much. I don’t mean to offend you or question you, I just want to know. Why me? Why did you answer my prayer?”_

He simply shrugged and said:

_“Not a lot of mortals call me, and when they do I answer”._

When he vanished he took everything with him; the enchanted part of the forest, the flowers, she was back in the clearing, the black puppy with the unusual yellow eyes was the only proof that everything had been real. She went back to her car and set her jacket on the passenger seat, carefully setting the puppy there. Content, the puppy laid down and closed her eyes. Normally puppies didn’t feel safe right away with their new owners but she already trusted her. _I won’t let you down._ She thought as she caressed the puppy. It wouldn’t be easy, he said, and he was right. Nothing that is of actual worth in this world is ever easy. She would have doubts, she would be scared but know she had a companion, a reminder, of who was protecting and guiding her. She was not alone. There was only one thing left. How should she name her new puppy? An ordinary or corny name was out of the question, this dog deserved a true name; something that capture what she truly was: a guide and a protector. She would have to do some research, and with that thought in her mind, she started the journey to her new life and self.


End file.
